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Reading Jenn's "Sleep While I Drive" again. God I love this story. It's because of Bonibaru's video, which I keep watching. But no. It's because I just love this story, and it's an excellent antidote to the disturbing Oedipal drama (trauma?) of mine. Just so beautiful. I also love "Handful of Dust," but I don't know if it's possible to read that one more than once, even if it is a favorite. Brilliant. Sooooo dark.

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Difficult to get back into writing the story. I'm off it right now. Sooooo taboo. And it's funny to stop where I have, because it's like Lex is sort of idling, perhaps drumming his fingers on that cotton swatch wondering what to do next if I don't keep going with the story. Very Willow moment of Lex thinking "Bored now." Just waiting for me to tap, tap, tap on the keys again, give him something to do next.

Sorry Lex. Ruminating. The Lowell stuff fits only sometimes. I may be overwriting this.

And then again, there's the JUST DO IT argument. Just write the damned thing. Yeah. Well. Like I said. Ruminating.

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So I'm thinkin that as much as I needed "Sleep While I Drive" as a restorative, it worked too well. That's just one very healthy relationship, and maybe I need some vitriol to get going again. Thamiris's "Burnt." Re-reading that next. Actually, I think it's probably the inspiration for this "This is Not Happening" anyway.

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God. Reading "Burnt" makes me want to vomit. I'm really happy to feel that way about it. Still reading.